The Chemistry of Trust

Trust.

A word so overused its practically background noise. We hear it in TED Talks, team-building retreats, HR onboarding slides. It’s the buzzword behind engagement, collaboration, connection.

But when you strip away the jargon, what is trust, really?

It’s not perfection.

It’s not polished vulnerability curated for social media.

It’s not nodding along and saying the “right” thing.

Trust is presence.

It’s energy.

It’s truth, spoken gently.

It’s replying to the message.

Making the call.

Sitting down across from someone not to prove a point, but to share perspective.

In The Final Lesson: Flirtation Is So Much More Than Seduction, I talk about how people aren’t drawn to perfection—they’re drawn to authenticity. Your willingness to show up messy and still mean well. That’s where the connection lives. That’s where trust begins.

Being authentic doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations.

It means having them with honesty, and more importantly clarity and care.

And that honesty? It’s not just in your words—it’s in your tone, your timing, the softness of your smile. When there’s trust, you can disagree and still laugh together. Without it, even laughter feels off. Forced. Hollow. Like a laugh track in a show with no actual audience.

Here’s the truth no team retreat will tell you:

Trust is energy.

And people feel your energy before you say a single word.

Your mindset matters. Because your thoughts and feelings shape the dynamic. If you sit down certain that you’re right, there’s no room for understanding. If you’re convinced that they’re wrong, you’ll never get curious enough to hear where they’re coming from.

Judgment and curiosity can’t share the same seat.

So, monitor your state of mind. Ask yourself:

What do I want from this conversation?

What might they want?

Have I actually asked?

Did I truly listen when they answered?

Trust can’t grow in certainty. It grows in curiosity.

And it starts with knowing yourself. Because if you haven’t taken the time to understand your own frustrations, your own patterns, your own contribution to the mess—you’ll carry tension into the room without meaning to. The air will feel off. The connection will stall. But if you have taken that time, if you’ve done the internal work, your energy changes. You arrive open. Responsive. Receptive. And people notice. People feel it.

That shift—within you—is what makes a real shift possible between you.

Because the only thing you truly control is your own state of mind.

So change it.

Shape it.

Soften it.

Start by seeking the good. It’s always there if you look closely enough. In every situation, there’s something worth honoring—an effort made, a truth spoken, a moment of beauty that almost slipped by.

And when the dynamic gets hard? Because it will—

Forgive yourself when you get it wrong.

Forgive them when they do.

Unforgiven missteps turn into walls. Resentments dissolve the delicate threads of energy that hold us together. And those threads are trust.

Sometimes they’re naturally woven—formed from compatibility, ease, shared laughter.

Other times, they’re carefully built—through effort, empathy, accountability, and grace.

Both are beautiful.

Both are worth it.

So yes, trust is a vibe. A frequency. A chemistry.

But it’s also a climb.

Like any 14,000-foot summit—whether in life, business, science, or love—it takes endurance. Above tree line, everything is exposed. The air is thin. The terrain is unforgiving. But if your team—or your partner—trusts you, really trusts you,

You adapt.

You communicate.

You keep moving.

Because there’s no room for ego when the path gets narrow and steep. There’s only each other.

And if you’ve made it this far? You’ve already proven you have what it takes to reach the top.

 The trail's wild, the air's thin-but what's waiting up there just might change everything.

So lace up, darlin'. Because getting there together? That’s how trust becomes legacy.